Journal Weds 10th September

This title sucks. There’s no humour here.

Awake at 4.30am again FFS.

I had a lovely start to yesterday, I ticked off a big old adult admin item that had been bothering me for ages. The sun was shining, I finished clearing the last of the massive pine tree so we can now turn the car around without a 37 point turn. I strimmed a much neglected area that now looks pretty great, did a couple of loads of washing. I know, small wins for all of you corporate 9-5 types, but as my husband rightly pointed out when I was having a meltdown last night, these are the things it’s important to celebrate.

The post lady came, we had lovely chat, she brought with her some Caudalie goodies because my night cream was nearly all gone, some refills for my deodorant (what ran out the day before so that’s lucky), and some more fairy lights because the nights are drawing in and the garden needs to look like it’s been vajazzled.

In fact I’m writing this purely from the light of 3 sets of fairy lights, one that illuminates the glasses and bottles on the dresser that acts as a drinks cabinet, one around the shelves that house my cookbooks, one around the old oak beam. I replaced the batteries in the ones that were’t working this morning at like 5.00am because you need to cultivate your joy in order to harvest it. That needs to go on a fridge magnet.

Armed with fairy lights and stuff to make things look pretty I skipped into the garden. I finished strimming around one of the fosse vents, and there it was. The tell tale puddle. My heart sank. About 6 months ago we had this problem, and the resolution was a brand new drainage ditch costing just under 2K. The problem looks exactly the same as last time, the solution can’t possibly be throw 2k at it every 6 months, and we are running out of garden to lay new trenches. This just isn’t right. I won’t know for sure until the fosse man comes to have a look, and he’s not acknowledged my message yet. It was deemed to be a power cut or something to the pump that separates the solid from the liquid. The solid should remain in the tank which is emptied every few years, the liquid runs off through filters and into a long perforated pipe which discharges into a gravel filled trench. Once solids get into this pipe it clogs it and the gravel trench so things don’t drain. It means just jet flushing it out won’t work because the gravel trap will just not do its job any more. I’m hoping I’m wrong, but i’ve unscrewed the caps and it doesn’t look great. Every time since the first fault, if the house lights so much as flicker, we go into the cellar and check the pump has power and is working, I’m just so frustrated. It’s the money, the inconvenience ,and the digging up of the garden yet again, when I’ve only just got everything not looking like a battlefield.

I lost it after that. Sat and sulked. Thought about putting the house on the market. Perhaps burning it down. And other totally rational and completely non hormonal/homicidal thoughts. Then you flick on instagram and some family that has lived here for 10 minutes do an overly perky post about how great ilife is and I’m like, NOT TODAY IT F’ING ISN’T. Throws phone, narrowly misses sink.

I hoped a good night’s sleep might clear my head, but clearly I haven’t had one, and I’m still really sad about it this morning. We have a house full of guests next week and sewage leaking into the garden. Oh, and a wood delivery due this afternoon, so several hours of stacking that (probably in the goddamn rain), yeah that’ll help.

Living here isn’t always sunshine and lollipops, and these fairy lights are going to be doing some heavy emotional support work for the foreseeable.

*adds more to basket.

TTFN,

V x

“Create a highly detailed, high-resolution image capturing a vibrant garden scene illuminated by fairy lights during twilight. Focus on the whimsical charm infused by the fairy lights draped around old oak beams and cookbooks. Incorporate a serene atmosphere contrasted by a subtle hint of frustration reflected in the surroundings, such as a telltale puddle near a drainage area. The light should be warm and inviting, creating a cozy yet slightly chaotic ambiance. Ensure sharp focus on the fairy lights and garden details, emphasizing the blend of beauty and the challenges of home maintenance.”