We had a pretty uneventful flight, aside from some age old questions. Such as why does East Midlands airport smell like arse, why the lady thought salmon pink culottes in a size too small was a good idea and why we got saddled with Mr “have you ever flown from Charles de Gaulle? You can’t take tweezers on to a plane but you can buy a model of the Arc de Triumphe that you could totally fashion into a weapon….” in the queue for boarding. We were able to delight in Ryan Air’s chicken nugget and chips meal, paired with a nice luke warm Chardonnay. It occurred to me that if the plane went down at that moment and they examined our stomach contents in millennia to come like peat-bog Charlatan Tollund Man, the shame would be more than I could take…..

Within 10 minutes of landing though, we’d managed to buy an oven/hot plate combo, mugs, pastis glasses, toaster, kettle and other awesomeness. So nothing had better happen to derail operation house purchase or we may have to open a French soup kitchen…. Onion of course.