Yes everyone, I’ve become a wellness influencer. (insert sarcasm here).

First of all a very Happy New Year to you all, and a big thank you from me for making 2023 the best ever year for this little blog. I’ve had the most annual visitors to date – 2132 to be exact, and the blog as a whole has now surpassed over 40,000 views which has gobsmacked me a bit, so ta very much!

I’ll try not to make the usual promises about posting more regularly. because well, I know I won’t, but if I try to write for the sake of it, it just never quite sounds like me. So I guess you’ll just be stuck with me posting at random intervals as per usual…..

Anyhoo….

We have a family wedding in about 12 weeks, very exciting. So with this in mind, and knowing that this milestone is looming large, I thought it might help me forge some good habits and help them to stick. I’ve dieted, on and off, for about 30 years of my life, and it pains me to admit it. All that’s ever happened in those 30 years is I’ve gained and lost the same 3 stone repeatedly, while making myself thoroughly miserable in the process. I’m a UK size 18, I’m pretty happy in my own skin, which I guess is what being 47 years old is about. I’d have quite a stern word with 19 year old size 12 me, I can tell you. All of this being said, do I want to hurtle into the menopause (I’m not there yet), without trying to counteract some of the nonsense that comes along with it, bone loss, muscle loss, weight gain, joint pain – that’s barely scratching the surface. Frankly, no I don’t. So, my main goal is to just move more. That’s it. Try to do a combination of a bit of cardio, (for me that’s Zumba because it has to be something I don’t actively hate), some Yoga, mainly for strength and flexibility as I have neither, a bit of resistance training, and some light dumbbell stuff maybe. All combined with and contributing to a goal of 10,000 steps a day. Sounds like a plan right?

I know from previous failed attempts at fitness that I need to do something that isn’t too hardcore, something that I can do every day, consistently. I remember buying the Bodyboss book a few years back. I set up a small circuit, bought a skipping rope, a proper step, little cones, the whole thing. The book recommended 4 weeks of “pre-training” if you hadn’t exercised for a while. I did day one of the training you do before the actual training, and couldn’t walk for 3 days. That book was generously donated to the local resourcerie some time ago. Will make some good firewood that will.

So, I know that for this to work, I have to make it number 1 priority in my day, so it has to be the thing that I do first thing in the morning before anything else. I’m acutely aware that everyone doesn’t have an adjoining second house that can be repurposed as a yoga studio (if you don’t mind sharing it with a lot of over wintering Geraniums), but I’ve set up my mat and my new yoga blocks, and dumbbells etc round there. This morning, a quick sprint next door in the driving rain, a search for an electric radiator (because chuffing hell!), and I was away. I chose a relatively easy 30 minute Zumba routine on Youtube and actually smiled at one point. It wasn’t awful. Then I chose the most beginingnest of all the beginners 30 minute yoga videos. I should have filmed it. Firstly, concentrating with 2 cats gurning at you through the patio doors, not easy. As ever with Youtube yoga, she’s smug, lycra clad, wearing a full face of makeup that she’s inexplicably not sweated off, and apparently doesn’t have arms like a T-rex like I do. I swear my arms are too short for my body – thank Christ for yoga blocks! They are cork blocks, slightly larger than the size of a brick that you can use for balance when, for example, your velociraptorness means your fingertips can’t touch the floor, when Smugness von Downward Dog has got her palms down flat!! I concluded that I needed to order another 30 or so yoga blocks to put all the way around me, like chalk around a murder victim to stop me toppling over, because topple I did. Turns out I can’t go from downward dog, to having one leg out behind me and opposite arm to the ceiling. TIMBERRRR! Turns out bringing one foot from downward dog position, under my body and between my 2 hands on the ground is also a hard pass. She smugly pops her hands around her knees to hold another position in place, while I’m clawing for a finger hold in my lycra somewhere mid thigh! Is this woman made of Linguine I ask myself! But, I feel good afterwards, and Rome was not constructed in a day right? It must have taken a good month to cobble Leeds together…..

All of this, plus about 30 minutes on the walking pad while talking to my mum on Skype and a lot of housework, and all my fitness goals for the day have been achieved. And I am absolutely, possibly unsustainably, exhausted. I may have to tweak my step goal down to 7K and see if that feels more achievable, because I do need to still have a life. I’m basically even now, just writing this to kill time before bed….. Didn’t I read somewhere that Marky Mark Wahlberg does his first workout at 3.00am or some madness. What’s wrong with you!

I write this to keep myself honest, so if there’s no mention of this effort in a few weeks time, I want you to message me and ask me how it’s going. If you just get something a bit sweary in return, well, we’ll say no more about it.

Happy New Year once more my friends!

TTFN V x

PS, accidentally made myself a Yorkshire Tea (the one flavoured with biscuits), instead of the Lemon and Ginger one I intended….. but I regret nothing….. wellness influencer – out!