Ginger fury.

Nope, not my WWE wrestling name, but my current mood. Question is will I go full nuclear or will the handfuls of orange Smarties I’m ramming into my pie-hole do anything to quench the flames within.

Angry as !@#£

People that make appointments to view houses only to not show up have a special little alcove reserved in hell. Right next to people that talk in the cinema, majorettes and Anne Hathaway. The actress, not Shakespeare’s wife, just to clear that up. To quote Mark from Peep Show, “People voted for the Nazis and listen to Coldplay, you can’t trust people Jeremy”.

People wonder why I want to live in the middle of nowhere! Gah!! People!!

We should have had 5 viewings at this point in time, we’ve actually had 2, due to people being colossal douchebags, and our Estate Agents all being about 14 and having names that suggest pole-dancing might have been their first career choice, are winding me right up.

They come round and promise you the moon on a stick and then just don’t deliver!

This all being said, the couple that did come today, were lovely and are cash buyers so fingers crossed. I can’t read these situations though, they could have just been going through my cupboards – who knows.

Those Estate Agents had better be on the phone to me in the morning first thing or so help me!!!!

It’s pretty difficult getting ready for viewings with Craig being away. Freya is in to everything the minute you’re back is turned, so without my sister’s help today, just watching them while I got stuff done, I would have really struggled.

All 3 dogs decided to turn into turd producing Gatling guns, every time I looked away, turd! Including 2 just before the first viewing, like – surprise!! Good Lord animals, what am I feeding you!! Despite having swept, Freya likes to forage for filth under the fence, so was proudly cantering round the garden like doggy dressage, first with a skanky empty packet of Salt & Vinegar McCoys, then with a 2mtr length of creeper that she was hellbent on shredding on the lawn before I nicked it. Then she decided to dig, sending a shower of leaves and slate chippings everywhere. Was like a sit-com this afternoon. Except I am yet to laugh….. Bit like watching Mrs Brown’s Boys.

Cleo looked at me on her third walk of the day like, are you having a giraffe? She’s exhausted now bless her, in fact all 3 are fast asleep and snoring the little buggers. It’s a good job they’re cute I tell thee.

And so the saga continues…..


PS. Orange Smarties are not in share bags. This is a lie.

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